Splash…splash….!!
I laved my face with the cold water. My brain was vibrating like a tuning fork, thanks to the last night booze.“Hey you ugly face”.I felt as if someone was calling me. I looked up to find myown reflection in the mirror talking to me“Look how ugly you have grown,unshaped moustache and beard,pimplesand dark spots all over the face, Eyes shrunken, dark circles, black-lips. At the age of 25 you look like a 65 year old man waiting for retirement. Who will love you? She has got all the reasons in the world to ditch you”.
I felt like banging my fist on the mirror and crushing it into100 pieces.At that time the song changed in my music player as if it had got an auto-change mode according to the situation and circumstances.
“Aeine ke sautukde, kar ke hum ne dekhe hai
ekmeinbhitanhaa the, saumeinbhiakele hai”
It seemed as if it was laughing at my condition.I kicked the music player. It stopped. Transistor, magnets and capacitors were scattered inthe floor just like dead body parts aftermath of a bomb explosion.
Beep..Beep….!!
Vibration of my cell phone was clear enough to make me feel alive.
“Hello Sir. Your cab is waiting on the ground floor. Please come within five minutes, we are getting late.” He hung up before I could say anything. I put on a so called clean dress and sprayed half the bottle of deodorant all over my body and rushed downstairs.
Peeeeeen…..Ponnnnn….Ponnnnn…Peeeen
The Heavy traffics in Delhi have no option other than to produceany other noise than this. Few years ago I came to this city with lots of hopesand aspirations. Now it seems even the street beggars are happier than me. Iclosed the window,switched on AC and the FM to enter my own world.
“Soniye Hiriyeteri yaad andiyee….seene vich tadapta hei dil jaanjandiyeeen”
Oh no!!Not again I cried out louder in my heart.I thought of changing it, but for some unknown reasons I stopped myself. Eyes were getting closed automatically,again the same flash in16 FF. I tried to resist it with full energy but somehow it got high priority in my brain’s scheduling algorithm. An alert message box appeared
“Let it flow”……………..and I slowly entered the dream world.
“May I come in ma’am” I sent a request packet.
“No you may not” received a negative acknowledgement packet.
Next packets were not request. Those were pleading or rather begging, finally I was allowed.I moved my eyes all around and then my eyes were automatically glued to someone.She was calm and was not even looking up. She had her head down and her cheeks were shining with the light falling on them.I was dumbstruck for a few moments and then came back to reality. Suddenly I got a strange confidence. I tried to walk like Sanjay Dutt. I sat just next to her bench. All the time in the class I observed her. And then.
“Hi, can I see that book you are reading???” I asked.
“It’s Kreyszig’s mathematics“she replied and gave a strange look to me when she found out that the same book was also on my table.
“Oh, you idiot. Couldn’t you hide the book for some time.” I whispered to my bench mate.
I was a ‘Cowardly dog’ (a showfrom Cartoon network) with girls but didn’t know from where I got the courageto reply back “No it does not contain today’s chapter. Someone has torn the pages”
She handed her book halfheartedly.And I did nothing except turning the pages from first to last and showing herthat I was reading something. Bell rang,and it was time to return her book. I couldn’t understand a single word aboutasymptotes but I believed Love asymptotes do exist if heart is a plane of coordinate geometry.
Days passed, she became activein the class. I used to steal glances of her every now and then.We talked onsome occasions but those were forcefully initiated by me.One day a senior came into ourclass and announced that there was going to be a C language quiz competitionand it had to be a team of two people. It was the first time she initiated theconversation “let’s be a team” as I was little Famous for my programmingcapability at that time. I nodded my head with a lightning speed and thanked Dennis Ritchie for inventing C language.
Next four days. We sat togetherto study but ended up having nice conversations. Einstein was damn right with relativity, time jumps when you are having a good time. I started to burnmidnight oil practicing some programming stuffs not because I had a keen desire to win but I didn’t want to see a sad expression on her beautiful face. Finally we topped. That was the starting point of a true friendship. We exchanged Facebook Ids and cell numbers. My days began with wishing her in the morning and ended with good night wishes.
Every night we would talk tillone or two but finally when I analyzed what we had talked I could just conclude’nothing’. I used to laugh at others when they talked for hours. I used to wonder from where on earth they got topics to talk every night. But it was my time to realize I was a bigfool. Before this I believed Tajmahal was just built to show an art of Mughal dynasty but now I believe it is a symbol of love.
In college syllabuses weregetting completed with lightening speed. People were busy with their labrecords and assignments but for me I was in a different world altogether. Istarted getting butterflies in my stomach. My heart started skipping beats or raced like the horse in ‘kaminey’ every time I saw her. I was in a happy mood all the time.The breeze felt cooler than it was.Colors seemed more colorful. I started taking care of my looks, left smoking and even started watching romantic movies.That was when my best song changed from
Behen**** suttamujhesuttaanamila
To
Baateinkuchankaahesi
Kuchansuni se honelagi
Kabudilperahana
Hastihumarikhonelagi
wooohWooohwooo woo wooh
Shayadyehi hai Pyaar
Squeak…………………….
I was out of my chain of thoughts because of the speedbreaker that my driver couldn’t see or perhaps he was in his own dream world. Very soon the little smile on my face faded away as I was back in the reality.
I took out a cigarette and lighted it . From the day sheleft I have this wrong perception that every psychic pain can be treated with smoking or boozing. That cloud of cigarette smoke leaving my lips were taking shape of a face. The face of someone I always loved and would love until mydeath.Very soon all those face shaped smoke vanished in the air like she vanished from my life leaving me in such misery.
I opened the window.I was at the entrance of a tall building called office waiting for me to welcome me with assignments and deadlines.
Disclaimer:-stay tuned with me to know how this love storychanges its color from sweet to sad. In Next part it’s the time to sit in a roller coaster. Till then feel my presence in these few letters that I could feel.
I laved my face with the cold water. My brain was vibrating like a tuning fork, thanks to the last night booze.“Hey you ugly face”.I felt as if someone was calling me. I looked up to find myown reflection in the mirror talking to me“Look how ugly you have grown,unshaped moustache and beard,pimplesand dark spots all over the face, Eyes shrunken, dark circles, black-lips. At the age of 25 you look like a 65 year old man waiting for retirement. Who will love you? She has got all the reasons in the world to ditch you”.
I felt like banging my fist on the mirror and crushing it into100 pieces.At that time the song changed in my music player as if it had got an auto-change mode according to the situation and circumstances.
“Aeine ke sautukde, kar ke hum ne dekhe hai
ekmeinbhitanhaa the, saumeinbhiakele hai”
It seemed as if it was laughing at my condition.I kicked the music player. It stopped. Transistor, magnets and capacitors were scattered inthe floor just like dead body parts aftermath of a bomb explosion.
Beep..Beep….!!
Vibration of my cell phone was clear enough to make me feel alive.
“Hello Sir. Your cab is waiting on the ground floor. Please come within five minutes, we are getting late.” He hung up before I could say anything. I put on a so called clean dress and sprayed half the bottle of deodorant all over my body and rushed downstairs.
Peeeeeen…..Ponnnnn….Ponnnnn…Peeeen
The Heavy traffics in Delhi have no option other than to produceany other noise than this. Few years ago I came to this city with lots of hopesand aspirations. Now it seems even the street beggars are happier than me. Iclosed the window,switched on AC and the FM to enter my own world.
“Soniye Hiriyeteri yaad andiyee….seene vich tadapta hei dil jaanjandiyeeen”
Oh no!!Not again I cried out louder in my heart.I thought of changing it, but for some unknown reasons I stopped myself. Eyes were getting closed automatically,again the same flash in16 FF. I tried to resist it with full energy but somehow it got high priority in my brain’s scheduling algorithm. An alert message box appeared
“Let it flow”……………..and I slowly entered the dream world.
“May I come in ma’am” I sent a request packet.
“No you may not” received a negative acknowledgement packet.
Next packets were not request. Those were pleading or rather begging, finally I was allowed.I moved my eyes all around and then my eyes were automatically glued to someone.She was calm and was not even looking up. She had her head down and her cheeks were shining with the light falling on them.I was dumbstruck for a few moments and then came back to reality. Suddenly I got a strange confidence. I tried to walk like Sanjay Dutt. I sat just next to her bench. All the time in the class I observed her. And then.
“Hi, can I see that book you are reading???” I asked.
“It’s Kreyszig’s mathematics“she replied and gave a strange look to me when she found out that the same book was also on my table.
“Oh, you idiot. Couldn’t you hide the book for some time.” I whispered to my bench mate.
I was a ‘Cowardly dog’ (a showfrom Cartoon network) with girls but didn’t know from where I got the courageto reply back “No it does not contain today’s chapter. Someone has torn the pages”
She handed her book halfheartedly.And I did nothing except turning the pages from first to last and showing herthat I was reading something. Bell rang,and it was time to return her book. I couldn’t understand a single word aboutasymptotes but I believed Love asymptotes do exist if heart is a plane of coordinate geometry.
Days passed, she became activein the class. I used to steal glances of her every now and then.We talked onsome occasions but those were forcefully initiated by me.One day a senior came into ourclass and announced that there was going to be a C language quiz competitionand it had to be a team of two people. It was the first time she initiated theconversation “let’s be a team” as I was little Famous for my programmingcapability at that time. I nodded my head with a lightning speed and thanked Dennis Ritchie for inventing C language.
Next four days. We sat togetherto study but ended up having nice conversations. Einstein was damn right with relativity, time jumps when you are having a good time. I started to burnmidnight oil practicing some programming stuffs not because I had a keen desire to win but I didn’t want to see a sad expression on her beautiful face. Finally we topped. That was the starting point of a true friendship. We exchanged Facebook Ids and cell numbers. My days began with wishing her in the morning and ended with good night wishes.
Every night we would talk tillone or two but finally when I analyzed what we had talked I could just conclude’nothing’. I used to laugh at others when they talked for hours. I used to wonder from where on earth they got topics to talk every night. But it was my time to realize I was a bigfool. Before this I believed Tajmahal was just built to show an art of Mughal dynasty but now I believe it is a symbol of love.
In college syllabuses weregetting completed with lightening speed. People were busy with their labrecords and assignments but for me I was in a different world altogether. Istarted getting butterflies in my stomach. My heart started skipping beats or raced like the horse in ‘kaminey’ every time I saw her. I was in a happy mood all the time.The breeze felt cooler than it was.Colors seemed more colorful. I started taking care of my looks, left smoking and even started watching romantic movies.That was when my best song changed from
Behen**** suttamujhesuttaanamila
To
Baateinkuchankaahesi
Kuchansuni se honelagi
Kabudilperahana
Hastihumarikhonelagi
wooohWooohwooo woo wooh
Shayadyehi hai Pyaar
Squeak…………………….
I was out of my chain of thoughts because of the speedbreaker that my driver couldn’t see or perhaps he was in his own dream world. Very soon the little smile on my face faded away as I was back in the reality.
I took out a cigarette and lighted it . From the day sheleft I have this wrong perception that every psychic pain can be treated with smoking or boozing. That cloud of cigarette smoke leaving my lips were taking shape of a face. The face of someone I always loved and would love until mydeath.Very soon all those face shaped smoke vanished in the air like she vanished from my life leaving me in such misery.
I opened the window.I was at the entrance of a tall building called office waiting for me to welcome me with assignments and deadlines.
Disclaimer:-stay tuned with me to know how this love storychanges its color from sweet to sad. In Next part it’s the time to sit in a roller coaster. Till then feel my presence in these few letters that I could feel.
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